


Watch Me as I Fall

by ThesecretlifeofRosietti



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Evil Maryse, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Panic Attacks, Supportive Isabelle Lightwood, alec has amnesia, clara is my child
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-27 06:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9979898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThesecretlifeofRosietti/pseuds/ThesecretlifeofRosietti
Summary: Magnus watched Alexander Lightwood die in a demon fight, he was unable to save him and he has never forgiven himself. Three years have passed and time has not healed any wounds.Alec got kicked out of his parents home in California three years ago and now lives with his two best friends in a Brooklyn apartment. He is a single child, with no memory of a shadow world, but he has been looking for something he knows he lost, he just doesn't know what it is.When Magnus sees him on the subway, he isn't sure what to say, feel, or think. Can he approach a dead man, and why is Alec not even reacting to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ta da!!! My first chapter of my first fanfiction ever. I'm very excited, but it's not really all that good. I suck at summaries so if you are confused by anything, ask in the comments below :) Check me out on tumblr with the same name.  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thesecretlifeofrosietti

Chapter 1

            “Just do it quickly, Warlock, before he wakes up”

            “He is weak right now, I can’t overload his mind or he might never wake up”

            Alec stirred slightly and the conversation stopped, he could feel their presences next to him but nothing made a sound. His body ached and he felt his wrists and ankles restrained against a cold metal table. He felt like he was underwater and could faintly pick out two silhouettes and the slightly amber glow of magic surrounding him. Panicking slightly, he willed his breathing to slow down and pretended to lose consciousness again.

            “What do you want me to do with him once this is all over?” the second voice murmured to the other figure standing in the room.

            “I don’t care, just make sure the memories are gone, along with the runes. Plant some false memories and put him somewhere in the world. Whatever you do, make sure it can never be traced back to me. He has already insulted the Lightwood name, another scandal is the last thing we need.”

            Alec’s mind struggled but his body couldn’t move. He tried screaming but nothing came out, and he reached through his parabatai bond for help but something was blocking it. His mind was becoming foggier and foggier. He could see so many faces pass through his mind but only a few names came to him. He held tightly to those names: Clary, Simon, Max, Jace, Izzy, Magnus.

                                                Magnus. And everything went black.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

            Magnus’s shot open in a cold sweat. He still heard the screaming in his ears from his dream, but it was quickly fading. He thought after three years he would have forgotten what Alec had sounded like, but it was still clear as day. The dreams had become less frequent with time, but he of all people should know that it never truly goes away. Not for Alec. He ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of his stomach. Leaning his head against the cool marble of the wall, he gulped in air and tried to calm his breathing.

            His alarm clock read 3:46 A.M., but there was no point in attempting to finish sleeping. He flicked his hand and his sweat-soaked bedsheets disappeared. Although it was late, he needed to hear Alec’s voice. First he called Alec’s cell phone and of course, like it had for the past three years, it went straight to voicemail, “ _Izzy I don’t understand… fine…_ This is Alec Lightwood, unless this is Magnus, you have the wrong number or I am avoiding you because this is not the way to contact me, _ahem Izzy_. If you leave a message, honestly I probably won’t check it. _That’s not rude Izzy it’s the truth!_ Anyway, if you are currently dying and need to contact me, that sucks for you.” The voicemail ended with the exasperated giggling of Izzy. For a few seconds nothing happened, but suddenly Magnus felt the wetness on his cheeks dripping onto the phone in his hand. He changed the app to Photos and hit play on the first video he saw.

            “Magnus No!” Alec shouted as he sprinted away from Magnus, who was shakily holding his phone and laughing out loud. Magnus shot blue magic straight at Alec and when it cleared, Alec had bright blue hair. “Magnus, come on!” Alec shouted again as he gripped his hair tightly, he was smiling to wide to look angry as he charged full force to Magnus as Magnus ran away shrieking, camera bobbing. To the left of the camera, Jace, Isabelle, Clary, and Simon were howling with laughter. “Oh Alec if you could see yourself right now!” Jace forced out through laughing. Alec narrowed his eyes and looked at Magnus and winked. Magnus pointed the camera to the small group huddled on the ground and in less than a second, all of them had strange colored hair. Simon’s hair was a bright green that matched the grass of the park they were in, Clary’s hair was a lavender purple, Izzy’s hair was firetruck red (the same shade as Princess Ariel), and Jace’s hair was a Barbie pink. Magnus added sparkles to Jace’s hair just for good measure. They looked amongst themselves for a moment, before bursting into laughter. “Let’s be honest, I totally pull this off, don’t I” Izzy smirked while Jace wailed about the loss of his beautiful hair. Alec’s raucous laughter got louder as he wrapped his arms around Magnus and buried his head in his neck. “I love you” Alec mumbled against Magnus’s skin. “I love you too”

            The video ended abruptly and Magnus could see his reflection in the black of the screen. His hair was pasted onto his forehead with sweat, eyes red, face streaked with tears. Three years ago, he would not have recognized the face in the reflection, but since Alec’s death, he looked like this almost every night.

            His tears were flowing freely now and he reached for the bottle of vodka he kept in the kitchen. It was one of those nights, he decided, against better judgement. The liquid tasted like water and burned the back of his throat. He chugged it and when the last drop came out he threw it with all his might against the wall, shattering it into thousands of pieces. He could feel the numbing in his mind, but tonight was too much. He sunk to his knees and let out a guttural scream, knowing no one would hear him or care. He grabbed his phone and called his speed dial,

            “Magnus, it’s four in the morning. What..,” the words died in her mouth as she heard his heavy breathing and sobbing. “I’m coming over, I’ll be there in ten minutes,” she finalized as he heard her instantly get up and fumble for a light. She spoke soothingly to him on the phone, but he could barely hear her over the blood roaring in his ears.

            “Magnus” Izzy shouted suddenly right next to him, hoisting him to his feet, and throwing his arm around her shoulder to hold his weight. She took off his shirt and put him in the large tub, turning on the freezing water.          

            “Magnus you can’t keep doing this to yourself” Izzy sobbed, “please Magnus I need you as much as you need me, I miss him too.” Magnus turned to face her and suddenly guilt washed over him. He sobered up immediately and pulled her shaking form into his chest as she cried. They held each other in the tub until all the tears were shed and the cold water had soaked through their clothes and they couldn’t stand it anymore. Sorry’s were shared from both sides as they dried off and Magnus offered Izzy sweatpants and a Gucci sweatshirt. They were both physically and mentally exhausted from the episode so Magnus offered they stay at his loft all day and binge watch Netflix. Izzy shot off a text to Jace saying she wasn’t feeling well, and he was welcome at Magnus’s loft, along with anyone else who couldn’t work today. Jace replied saying that he would be there in half an hour, and Clary and Simon were coming too. Magnus rested his head against the couch cushion and remembered what today was.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

                                    “Happy Birthday Alexander” he whispered.

“Happy Birthday Alec” the chorus of people yelled out as the waiter put the heart attack waiting to happen in front of him. He smiled and blew out the sparkler on top as a few whoops rang out. He wasn’t sure what he wished for, everything he could ever want was right here. Dakota gave him a thumbs up and Clara wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. His friends were sitting around him at the small Italian restaurant, he was happy, but he knew something was missing.

            “Alec, you ok?” Dakota’s voice interrupted his thoughts. He blinked up and saw Dakota and Clara’s worried stares, and quickly glanced around to make sure they were the only ones who noticed. He plastered on his best fake smile and nodded, but they knew him too well to be convinced. He was amazed how in only three years, these two people had become such an important part of his life. They were the only family he knew, or cared about and he didn’t want to worry them.

            “Guys, really, I’m fine! I’m just thinking about how old I am. I mean I can’t believe I’m already on the tail end of my twenties. Jesus, I’m twenty six already.” He rambled on until Clara stopped him with a serious glance.

            “Alec, if you were thinking about your parents, that’s fine, just tell us. You don’t have to feel guilty for still loving them, even after what they did to you.” Honestly, Alec hadn’t even thought about his parents all night. It was nice to be able to forget them for a while. He considered it as a possibility that it was his parents that were missing from him, but it felt like so much more, like an itch he couldn’t scratch. The pain of his parents’ rejection had become more of a dull ache over the course of the three years and he knew he had Dakota and Clara to thank. They had taken him in after his parents had kicked him out and they gave him everything he needed, a job, a house, a family. He owed them the world, but this loss was more than that. If he didn’t know what it was, how could they possibly understand.

            “You’re right, Clara, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to damper the night but really I feel pretty crappy right now. My parents should be here with me celebrating my birthday, not in Los Angeles not even caring whether I’m alive or dead.” He lied through his teeth.  He lowered his head in shame about lying to his friends and hoped it looked more like he was upset. They seemed skeptical but they rubbed circles on his back and nodded along, reminding him that it gets better. He knows, really, but something is not right, it hasn’t been since the moment he woke up on that bench three years ago, something is missing.

            _Alec woke up freezing, the New York snow was bundled on his sleeping bag and he realized he could barely move his toes. For the umpteenth time he cursed his parents. Why would they tell him they loved him, raise him, pay for his college, only to dump him onto the streets with no money and no hope as soon as he told them he was more interested in Jared, Cindy Steele’s brother, more than he was Cindy Steele, the rich daughter of Alec’s mother’s business associate. Their words kept repeating in his head as he sat there under the amber glow of the streetlight. He realized he would freeze if he didn’t get up so he forced himself to his feet and took in his surroundings. He had crashed in a park somewhere on a bench and he could smell coffee coming from his right. He prayed to whatever God was up there they would have a pay-it-forward coffee available for the homeless who sometimes wandered in to escape the cold. A few months ago, he never believed he would be one of them, but here he was. As he reached the shop, a small girl with pink hair and a Native American boy looked up. The boy appeared around his age, with shoulder length black hair, and dark brown eyes. He had a scar over his left eyebrow that left a small bald spot, and the most impish grin Alec had ever seen. The girl was very young, about 19 he would say, freakishly pale, a bob that grazed her shoulders clearly dyed often, currently a pale pink, and had hazel eyes that seemed to change colors every time he saw them, he wondered if that’s what people thought of his eyes. She was tiny but he could tell that she could mess you up of you weren’t careful, she seemed far more dangerous than imp boy who easily could have booby trapped the entire café, if he was the imp then she was the deadly fairy princess. Needless to say, Alec was content to stay far away from this odd couple. The girl stood and walked over to him purposefully. He was expecting to get yelled at or abused._

_“What’ll it be” He glanced at her for a moment, finally catching up to the fact she was talking to him._

_“I don’t have any money,” he responded. If there had been a pay-it-forward there would have been a wall of sticky notes._

_“Okaaay, that’s not what I was asking. Listen up, I’m a barista at this fucking hellhole and you look so pitiful, even I want to help you, and I hate everyone, so let me get you a cup of something warm so I can fulfill my good deed quota for the year.”_

_“A black coffee, I guess.” He knew he had answered wrong as soon as he said it because Fairy Princess’s face morphed into disgust and she started cursing his very existence._

_“For the love of all things holy, what the fuck is wrong with some people. I offer a free drink and he can choose anything off the menu, where the shit is fucking expensive and tastes like God’s tears and he orders a black coffee. A fucking black coffee,” she looked over at the imp boy and gestured to Alec as imp boy was crying from laughing so hard, “you know what Dakota, challenge fucking accepted. If he wants a black coffee I’m going to mix the shit out of that coffee and make it the best goddamn cup of black coffee the world has ever seen. Jesus Christ!” She threw her hands up exasperated and stormed behind the counter. Imp boy quickly slid into the seat next to Alec and tried to start a conversation._

_“I’m Dakota and the midget behind the counter is Clara. Don’t worry she won’t kill you unless you insult the cup of coffee she is making, so it better be the best goddamn cup you’ve ever had in your life, understand.”  Alec is nodding along before Dakota laughs, “I’m fucking with you man, what even happened to you? You look like shit.” Clara joins them a few minutes later, and Alec doesn’t even have to lie about it being the best cup of coffee. He was reluctant to reach tragic backstory level 100 after only knowing these people for a few minutes but he was surprised at how easy it was to talk to them. The two of them were silent for a minute as the story ended and they silently agreed on something._

_“You are coming to live with us now, no exceptions,” Clara said in a finalized voice, “just because your parents are the scum of the earth doesn’t mean you have to live like it. We have a small apartment, decent jobs, and we can help you get onto your feet.” Dakota gave him a sad smile and they got up from the table. Clara yelled to someone in the back that she was leaving for the day. Wordlessly, he followed Clara and Dakota through the New York streets, onto a subway, and into Brooklyn until they stopped at a small apartment building. On the 1 st floor, Dakota opened a door to a quaint apartment. It was small, but he could tell how much love there was in this place. The walls were littered with photographs and he could smell old books from the wall to wall bookshelf. The living area was cute, a small tv sat on a wooden counter and a worn couch spread the length of the room. A wall separated the living room from the kitchen where there were only the necessities. He could see two bedrooms, only one in use, and a bathroom the size of his closet back in California, but he didn’t mind._

_“Welcome to the loft, buddy” Dakota yelled as he dive-bombed on the couch. Loft. That reminded him of something. And for the first time in a long time, he felt safe. He felt home._ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

            Magnus did not want to leave the loft today but Izzy had asked him, practically begged him, to meet her for lunch at a new Thai place on 5th. The October air was crisp and Magnus was already dreading the winter to come. He sighed and wrapped his scarf tighter around himself before heading out onto the busy streets of Brooklyn. He could portal himself there but Izzy made him promise he would walk and take the train like a mundane because it would “do him good”. The subway was crammed and smelly and he suddenly realized that if he had portaled, there was no way for Izzy to know, however, there was nothing he could do now except wait for the ride to be over with. He decided it was too early for this and was about to walk off as soon as the train stopped to find a quiet place to portal, but something stopped him. Someone stopped him. A tall, dark haired man walked onto the subway and grabbed onto the handle. Magnus had not seen the man’s face yet, but the way he walked, the stance, the clothes, everything reminded him of Alec but it couldn’t be. He watched him die. He had seen his death on repeat in his dreams for three years, heard his scream every time he closed his eyes. The man turned around and there was no mistaking those eyes.

                                                            “Alexander?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My God! I was not expecting so much response for this, especially not so fast. Here is the second Chapter (grrrr the format got all wonky so I'm currently troubleshooting that but hopefully I'll have it fixed soon). I forgot to mention in Chapter 1 that the title from this fic comes from the lovely song Always Remember Me by Ry Cuming. Enjoy!

Magnus couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. His body and mind were screaming ALEXANDER. He was so close but Alexander hadn’t even noticed him. The subway jerked to a stop and the person next to him collided with him. He was forced to tear his eyes off Alexander as the person apologized, but when he looked up Alexander was nowhere to be found. Although he had two more stops until he had to get off, he forced his way to the front and pushed out the doors just before they closed. He was starting to panic now as he looked around frantically trying to spot him.

  
He turned to look at the train as it sped away, only to see Alexander staring at him from inside the train. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Alec had noticed the attractive man as soon as he stepped foot on the subway. He was beautiful, there was no other way to describe him. He had golden skin that was flattering even under the fake lights in the subway, which shouldn’t have even been allowed. His hair was spiked with glitter and blond highlights to compliment the dark brown, almost black color. He looked very important with his gold vest and navy accents. He couldn’t see the man’s eyes from the distance, but something in his gut told his they would be yellow with flecks of green, almost like a cat’s, but then berated himself for thinking of a cat.

  
Stop it Alec, you are so creepy! He thought as he quickly averted his eyes and turned around, praying to whatever was up there that hot guy hadn’t noticed he was staring at him. He could feel eyes on the back of his head and was tempted to turn around to see if it was hot guy, but he refused to make this even more awkward. He knew Clara would be crying from laughing so hard if she could see this pathetic attempt. He could picture both her and Dakota, red in the face, yelling at him to “make a fucking move already.” Maybe it was hot guy staring at him, and if Alec didn’t turn around he’d never know. At least he hoped it was hot guy, worst case scenario it was a girl, and he really didn’t feel like rejecting another girl. He braced himself for the worst, put on his most charming face, which was not quite a smile, and turned around.

  
The man’s eyes widened and he started shaking like he’d seen a ghost, and one word came out of his mouth, “Alexander?” Alec panicked and averted eye contact, which he never really made in the first place. He must have heard it wrong, there was no way that hot guy knew who he was. However, there was a sense of belonging this man brought to him, familiarity in a sense, that Alec had known him forever. The train jerked to a stop, sending the smaller people flying, and the doors opened. It was chaos for some people to get off and on the subway and hot guy was entirely blocked from view. Alec was shoved into an empty seat by someone bringing a large backpack next to him. There was a commotion from hot guy’s side of the bus and Alec tried to force himself to the front to see what was happening. The man had thrown himself from the bus just as the doors were closing, and he was frantically looking for something. His head swiveling back and forth, eyes wide, clearly breathing heavily. Alec wanted to be out there with him, to help him somehow, but the subway had already started moving. Hot guy turned around and caught eye contact with Alec, just as Alec was being pulled away by the train.  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Magnus felt his heart breaking as the train disappeared into the tunnel. He wanted to scream, cry, throw a fit, but all he could do was stand there staring after a train long gone. There was no way to tell where Alexander would get off, and even he knew he couldn’t portal onto the train.

  
He eventually portaled his way just outside the Thai restaurant, and sluggishly made his way to the back corner to wait for Isabelle. She was always running about fifteen minutes late to all meetings, but he could never find it in himself to be mad at her. It would frustrate Alec to not end, and whenever they went out somewhere he would make the reservation or movie time for thirty minutes later than he told Isabelle so she would end up being early. In response she would always spend the largest amount of money possible and make him pay. Their antics always brought a smile to his face, but he had tried to block out those memories for too long. He could feel tears starting to well in his eyes, and he ran his fingers through his hair several times, effectively messing it up but he didn’t care. He put his forehead on the cool table and stayed like that. He felt a waitress approach him a few times, but she left before saying anything, for which he was thankful.

  
“Magnus, oh my God, are you ok?” Izzy exclaimed as she sat down next to him and rubbed soothing circles into his back. He slowly lifted his head from the table and allowed his eyes time to adjust to the light before he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. She flinched slightly and pulled a makeup wipe from her purse and gave it to him along with a mirror. He hadn’t even realized he was crying, he felt numb, but, sure enough, he had faint black lines trailing down his cheeks. He nodded in thanks and she gave him a sad half smile in return. She stayed silent until he was done, but as soon as the makeup wipe was out of sight she grabbed him by the shoulder gently.  
“Magnus, please, talk to me. This hasn’t happened during the day in almost a year, what set you off?”

  
“I saw him, I saw Alexander” A small voice he almost didn’t even recognize as himself replied monotonously. She gasped as gripped his shoulder tighter.

  
“Oh Magnus, I was hoping this wouldn’t happen to you too. We’ve all seen Alec, whether standing on the sidewalk, or in a car passing us. But Magnus, he’s gone. Don’t torture yourself like this, giving yourself hope for nothing. It happens to everyone after a horrible loss, even us.”

  
“I know, Izzy, I know, but he was right there. It wasn’t just in passing, he stood by me on a train for several minutes,” he snapped at her, “he stared right at me as the train was pulling away.” He ran his fingers through his hair yet again, struggling to find the words.

  
“He wasn’t fake, Izzy. He wasn’t a figment of my imagination, he was there I swear.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Alec spent the entire day at work thinking about hot guy on the train. It seemed impossible, but he could have sworn hot guy said his name, was looking for him. But why? He ran through his memories to try to find that man’s face, but he couldn’t grasp it. He was so familiar, it was killing him.

  
“Mister Alec, are you ok? I’ve asked you the same question five times but you keep ignoring me and frowning. You seem really distracted” Mateo asked. Mateo was a 12 year old archery prodigy Alec taught. He was too advanced for almost any other teacher, but after years of Alec’s private teaching in archery growing up, they seemed perfect for each other.

  
“I’m sorry, Mateo, please just ask one more time.”

  
“I just want to know if I can move the target another 10 feet back. I’ve already hit this one, like, a bajillion times in a row.” Alec smiled slightly at Mateo’s whining and agreed to cut him a deal. They would move the target if Mateo could hit on his target exactly where Alec hit on his target. Alec thought for a moment, and aimed the arrow straight at the right corner of the target and glanced down at Mateo, who had already nocked an arrow. Mateo’s arrow shot true to mark and hit exactly where Alec had hit his target only moments before. Mateo turned to him and grinned.

  
“Okay, Mateo, no big head, you proved your point. Starting next lesson we will move the target, I promise. I’ll see you Wednesday.” He smiled and shooed Mateo off to his waiting mother in the lobby. She smiled gratefully, gave him a small wave, and resumed her phone argument. She was absolutely terrifying, and he pitied whoever was on the other end of the conversation. Maria Hernandez, with her long black hair, and fiery personality always reminded him of someone, but he could never place who.

  
As soon as he stepped on the train he was reminded of hot guy from earlier and internally cursed himself for forgetting about him. He had felt so close to remembering who he was but now the man seemed so far away, like there was something forcing him to forget. He sighed and called Clara and Dakota to see if they wanted him to pick up anything for dinner. He should have known not to consider their opinion because Dakota wished to “feast on the flesh of those who have disrespected him” and Clara wanted “rat poison with a glass of bleach.” He hung up on them and decided to pick up Chinese from the takeout place a few blocks from the loft.

  
As he was exiting the train, he collided with someone. He was about to yell, but the familiarity of the man stopped him. He was wearing a blue, long sleeved t shirt and had messy brown hair. The brunet wasn’t wearing glasses but Alec could almost picture a light brown pair perched on his nose. He first thought of Spiderman’s alter ego Peter Parker to describe him. He shook his head and glared at the boy, who was frozen in shock.

  
“Watch where you’re going next time” Alec snipped, but there was no real harshness behind it. The boy only nodded slowly, and Alec was seriously starting to worry about how little air the boy had taken in. He didn’t seem affected in the slightest by the fact he had not breathed in over a minute, so Alec let it slide. He adjusted the bag on his shoulder and slowly walked away from Peter Parker, checking over his shoulder to make sure he was ok. He felt bad about scaring the living crap out of the guy, but to be fair, he wasn’t even trying to be that intimidating. The first word that popped into Alec’s head was vampire but he chided himself to not be rude, just because Peter Parker guy was very pale, and most likely a serial gamer, does not give Alec the right to comment on it, but he couldn’t help the sense of rightness that came with associating that name with that face, even though he had never seen that man before.

  
He was so deep in thought, he almost passed the Chinese place on the corner. The woman behind the counter greeted him as he came in and asked, thickly accented, what he wanted to eat. He ordered the usual for the three roommates and grabbed a seat in the back corner to wait until the food was done. He stared around the small restaurant, and noticed that a few of the menu items were not fully Chinese, they were Indonesian. How do I even know that? He wondered, shaking his head for what seemed like the millionth time that day. The woman behind the counter calling out his order broke his thoughts, and he rushed up to the front to gather everything.

  
As he entered the apartment, something, or someone, jumped on his back and another person took the food. He was so used to this happening he didn’t even sway as Clara wrapped her skinny arms around his neck and hoisted herself onto his shoulders. Dakota was laughing maniacally as he ran around the room pulling fortune cookies out and shoving them into his mouth. By the time Alec grabbed the bag out of his hands, he had forced four cookies into his mouth and was failing epically at inserting a fifth. Clara held out her hand and Dakota placed another five cookies into her palm from behind his back.

  
“You are such children,” Alec laughed at their antics. They had done this every time he had brought home food so they could grab the unhealthy stuff before he hid it because it was bad for them. After the first few attempts, he let it happen, even though he knew he could stop them without much of a fight.

  
“Okay, DAD!” Clara mocked through a mouthful of cookie. Alec rolled his eyes in fond exasperation. It was hard to believe that Dakota was 25, the same age as him, and Clara was already 20. He felt very protective of them, like he would feel about his own siblings, if he had any.

  
“Did anything interesting happen today,” she asked, serving up a plate of food. Alec blushed slightly and internally cursed himself. Within a few seconds, both roommates had their elbows on the table, faces cupped in hands, staring at him with impish expressions.

  
“Oh do tell!” Dakota over exaggerated. They both blinked at him until he relented.

  
“I saw someone on the train today. I saw him from afar, I didn’t get his name or number, or even where he was planning on going. Considering I’ve been taking that same subway every morning for almost two years and this is the first time I’ve seen him, I’m guessing that it was a one-time thing and I’ll never see him again.” He faked an indifferent smile but they saw right through it.

  
“I’m calling fucking bullshit!” Clara yelled, “You are going to see mystery boy tomorrow, I bet you.”  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Magnus felt like he was going insane. He was thinking of theories on how Alexander could possibly have survived, but not even he could figure anything out. He had always trusted his eyes but now he’s not so sure, because somehow, something went wrong, He had seen Alec die three years ago but he had also seen Alec today. How is that possible? He wanted to scream. Maybe another warlock was pulling a prank on him, and if he ever found them he would make them pay. Alexander was a subject most knew not to touch on near the High Warlock.

  
His phone started blaring the Star Wars theme and he picked it up with a groan, checking the clock which read midnight.

  
“Sherman, how may I help you at this lovely hour?” He faked cheerfulness. There was silence on the other end, and Magnus debated hanging up.

  
“Magnus, Izzy told me what you told her today earlier when you guys had lunch. At first I was planning on calling you to make sure you were okay, you know when we weren’t in front of everyone, but, Magnus, I saw him too. Except I didn’t just see him, I bumped into him on the platform and spoke to him, Magnus he sounded just like him, he told me to watch where I was going and I should have responded but he didn’t even recognize me so I panicked and just watched him walk away. I was coming back from dropping off something at your loft and I saw him exit the subway. He must live in Brooklyn somewhere. This isn’t possible, we saw him die, but now he’s alive and we’re the only ones who know. What if all those times the others saw him on the sidewalk or in a car, they were actually seeing him and just thinking it was a mistake or a figment of their imagination. We have to investigate this, Magnus, you are the only one who will believe me.” Magnus had to cut Simon off before he lost his mind. If only Magnus had seen it, he would eventually have given up to Izzy telling him it was his imagination. But Simon actually spoke to him, bumped into him. Magnus couldn’t let this go now.

  
“Sherwin, I will call you tomorrow to discuss this, but when and where exactly did you see him?” Magnus urged, struggling to keep a calm voice.

  
Simon went off on another rambling rant, but Magnus understood that Alec exited the train at 9:00 at the station about 10 blocks from his apartment. He could have kissed Simon but he didn’t think Simon, Izzy, or even himself would enjoy that very much so he just thanked Simon and hung up. He didn’t care that Alexander didn’t react to him, he didn’t care that he left him for three years, he cared that Alexander was there. That he wasn’t crazy. For the first time in several years, he felt happy. He felt hopeful.

  
And he was definitely going to be on the morning and the evening train tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thanks again for everything! Honestly I don't know if I would have continued writing without your wonderful comments and support :) Don't forget to check out my tumblr where I will be posting updates on the story and answering any questions you mighty have (its under the same name)


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